My wife and I often enjoy a good curry. Recently we’ve experimented with More exotic tastes. There are some things though that would shake even the sturdiest British stomach. The world’s strongest chilli for instance. I’m reliably informed that the ‘Devil’s Penis’ is the strongest chilli known to man. Try if you like, but chomping on the Devils cock was never my idea of a good time.

It’s been said that the battle of Waterloo was a ‘near run thing’. This is hardly surprising given the quality of some of the generals involved. You may have read my previous post about dear old, mad, general Erskine but the mind boggles at the shear inadequacy and lunacy of the leaders of men in this particular battle. The Prince of Orange, for example, was a half-wit of the first order. General Blucher, commander of the Prussian army, was a mad old duffer who was under the delusion that he had been made pregnant by a Frenchman and was going to give birth to an elephant. I think it was wind myself.

I’m very proud of my title. I earned it after all, not like these sportsmen, grocers and ‘chat show’ hosts that get handed them nowerdays. In 1701 the Emperor of Persia had the enchanting title of ‘The Sun of Glory and the Nutmeg of  Delight’.  Tsar Nicholas II’s titles were far grander. They were; By the grace of God,Emperor and Autocrat of all the Russias, of Moskow, Kiev, Vladimir, Novgorod, Tsar of Kazan, Tsar of Astrakhan, Tsar of Poland, Tsar of Siberia, Tsar of Tauric Khersones, Tsar of Georgia, Lord of Pskov, and Grand Duke of Smolensk, Lithuania, Volhynia, Podolia and Finland, Prince of Estonia, Courland and Semigalia, Samogitia, Bialystock, Karalia, Tver, Yugra, Perm, Vyatka, Bulgaria and other territories; Lord and Grand Duke of Nizhni Novgorod, Chernigov; Ruler of Ryazan, Polotsk, Rostov, Yaroslavl, Beloozero, Udoria, Obdoria, Kondia,Vitebsk, Msislav and all the northern territories; Ruler of Iveria, Karalinia and the Kambardinian lands and Armenian territories; hereditary Ruler and Lord of the Cherkess and Mountain Princes and others ;Lord of Turkestan, Heir of Norway, Duke of Schleswig-Holstein, Stomarn, Dithmarschen, Oldenburg and so forth, and so forth, and so forth. Introductions at parties must have been a nightmare!

U.S. President, George W. Bush, has a morbid fear of peanuts; according to my source in the Foreign Office.